By Nancy Lorince, Managing Director

ComForcare Home Care

"For age is opportunity, no less than youth itself....And as the evening twilight fades away the sky is filled with stars, invisible by day." -Longfellow

We are so accustomed to seeing age in terms of loss, we sometimes overlook the fact that it brings unexpected gifts as well.  But caregivers of elders with dementia often tell me that, along with the challenge caregiving brings, come moments of real connection, warmth and joy.

The fall and winter holidays are full of sensory and emotional content that create opportunities for sharing such moments with loved ones with dementia.  Steeped in tradition and repetition, holidays trigger long-term memory, an area where many dementia patients still have capability.

Below are some suggestions to engage all five senses of your loved one with dementia during the holiday seasons.  These activities can bring you both pleasure and a chance to connect.

—    Smell - The sense of smell is strongly connected to memory.  Don't bake the pumpkin pie without taking a few moments to smell the ginger, cinnamon, close and nutmeg together with your loved one.  Talk about memories associated with these secrets.

—    Taste - Recruit your loved one as your taste tester.  Do the cranberries need more sugar?

—    Touch - String garlands of cereal to put out for the birds, or roll balls of cookie dough together.

—    Sight - Look at photos from holidays past, or sort fall leaves by color.

Hearing - Music is stored in a different part of the brain than other memories and retained longer.  Even those with very advanced dementia may be able to sing holiday songs with you.  Or listen together to the sizzle of latkes in hot oil, or the sound of the fire in the fireplace.

Higher functioning dementia patients may be able to help stir a batter, set the holiday table or put bows on packages.  Just remember to give only one direction or task at a time.  Most dementia patients cannot manage a task requiring two or more steps without being prompted with verbal or visual "cues."

Always thank your loved one for his or her help - even if some batter gets spilled or the bows all end up on one package.  You can always fix things later, but it's harder to repair hurt feelings.  Most dementia patients have had a life-time of being useful and productive.  They don't lose the sense of satisfaction that comes from helping others.

Don't be distressed if you try an activity only to find that your loved one doesn't respond or even dislikes it.  Like all of us, dementia patients have preferences that should be respected.

Remember, too, that although they need sensory stimulation, dementia patients don't always process it as others do.  Too much noise, even too many family members talking and laughing at once, can be disorienting and cause anxiety.  Similarly, too much clutter can be visually confusing.  Be sensitive to signs that you need to simplify and avoid sensory overload.

The various brain disorders we lump under the generic term "dementia" do indeed rob people of many abilities.  But creating the highest quality of life for these patients requires us to focus on what remains rather than what is lost - the capacity for pleasure, for joining in activities and for making emotional connections with others.

Whether your loved one needs assistance only a few hours a week or around-the-clock, our team is happy to help! Call (732) 499-0182 to learn more about the transition care services offered through ComForCare Home Care (Middlesex North, NJ).